You were the most important relationship in my life. You don't have to say anything. I know it's not the same for you. That's normal. You have many years left to live. But I know, I feel it. And I want you to know. You were the love of my life. You're a damn good person.I'm really sorry I threw you under the bus and then let you take the fall for me. It was wrong and really messed up.I just wanted to spend every second I could with you. And every stupid pun and mural and drawing brought us together. So I couldn't stop 'cause I was falling for you too.
My mom told me something once when she first started dating again. You lose your secrets when you let people get too close. It can be painful, to let someone find you in all the dark and twisty places inside. But you have to hope they do, because that's the beginning of everything. Make mistakes, but don't regret them. Learn from them. Because regrets are the hardest things to carry when you get older.You have no idea what it's like to hear people laugh at your family. You're right. I don't. And have to protect them, 'cause they can't hear it, but I can.My affections and wishes have not changed, but one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love--I love--I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.Yeah. I know. If you don't ask, they can't say no. Problem solved.We've all got an inner beast. We've all got a messy, loud, weird part of ourselves hidden away. And a lot of us never let it out. But I did. How about you?And I get it. Mars is awesome. I applied to
this program, like, 37 times. But maybe
when you find that thing that you're willing to cross the entire universe to be with... just make sure it's ready to do the same for you. Don't terraform yourself.It's why I love you. I just... I don't want you to wake up one morning and realize your whole life passed you by 'cause you were busy being everything to everyone but you.But if you put in enough effort, you should be able to look into your own heart pretty well. So in the end, what we should be doing is to be true to our hearts and come to terms with it in a capable way. No, I don't think I will kiss you, although you need kissing, badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how. 
